Let’s Keep Some Cover Letters a Bit More Covered

Saturday afternoon found me surfing through CraigsList looking through vacation swaps, free stuff and resumes from advertising professionals. I found this diatribe:

Advertising Account Executive
“I once had a temp job at an Ad Agency on 57th Street. I was excited about it because I had assumed an ad firm would be full of fun, lively, creative people. Wow, was I ever mistaken. I like working with well read, witty, urbane types but, this place was the dullest warehouse of lost human souls I had ever encountered. An insurance company being sold a policy by another insurance company would of had more life. Anyway, the final straw came when on a cold winter’s night I was about to leave and was putting on my winter hat which, for a guy, was rather poofy, I gotta admit.

It was a little transgendery looking thing with flamboyant colors and ultra soft material. As I put it on I turned to a female ad executive who worked there and who I thought I had a bit of a rapport with, and asked; “Is this a man’s hat or a woman’s?” She looked at me and replied; “Well, when you are wearing it it’s a man’s hat.” To which I fired back without missing a beat;
“Yeah, that’s what I tell my wife when I am wearing her panties. When I am wearing your panties, they’re man’s panties.”

Now ya think someone with an active imagination, as is supposedly required by an ad firm, would have known right away that I was joking. But not this woman. She just stared at me with a look of horrified disbelief, and I could almost hear the rusty cogs grinding to a halt in her vacuous head as she struggled to digest the information that I had just laid on her. I could tell she actually thought I had divulged some kind of dark sexual secret to her, and that I was some kind of pervert who wore his wife’s panties! Whatta cretin. I hesitated to explain myself, and clarify that I was only joking, but then decided to let her fallow brain have something to nosh on over the weekend. Let her share with her girlfriends the story about the weird temp dude in the office. I left the office whistling

So that’s my ad agency experience. If you are an agency that thinks you are unlike the one above, in that you actually do value creativity, as well as integrity and hard work, then hire me and prove it.

I was tempted to reply but though I do value hard work, creativity and integrity, I like to be known as the craziest one in BRANDland! So for the moment, we won’t be adding to staff.

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